Real Talk || Does age make a difference?


I decided if I am sharing outfits ideas, I could also share real life things about adulting, and all the mysteries that it entails. So for my first segment of “Real Talk,” I wanted to discuss if “hoeing” changes as we get older.


I’m describing hoeing very loosely. I am not talking about selling our bodies sexually in exchange for money on a street corner. I’m more thinking about hoeing as hooking up with someone (may or may not include food, money, clout, emotions, stress ext. that may occur). My friend and I went to visit my cousin who just had a baby (super cute & I love her) and this topic came up. My cousin, who is in her mid-thirties, brought up a conversation about a situation where her, her friend Hailey, and Sammy were all together. Hailey has been seeing a a guy who is 12 years younger than her and shared she has been over at his place about three times to hang out so far. My cousin asked her if they had sex yet and Hailey responded in shock, “No, I’m not a hoe!” Sammy said nonchalantly “We’ll damn, I must be a hoe then.” Sammy is also single and is currently actively dating. Sammy has different men that she gets together with and has intimate relationships. She has hooked with guys on the first date but she has also hooked up with guys after numerous dates. My cousin explains to my friend and I, “We’re in our thirties we can’t be hoes anymore!”

So, my question here is, does “hoeing” change with age? In high school and college our business is easily put out there wether it is you who is telling people, your friends, or the person you hooked up with. The word spreads fast when everyone is connected and compacted into one area. Shout out to those who were able to keep their intimate relationships private and shout out to those who shared openly!

When we graduate college or hit our early twenties we don’t have that same network where information is so easily spread (unless maybe it’s something really juicy). So then, is hoeing different now than in our teens and early twenties?

Our networks now are not as connected as they were before. People now have busy jobs, relocated, or fallen off the grid. We are technically now “real” adults. Most of us now try to be self sufficient, take care of ourselves, and handle our own. We do taxes, bay bills, and buy our own food. We realize our preferences, start to figure out what works for us, and what doesn’t. We make real ass decisions now, wether we like it or not. My cousin mentioned hoeing not applying to your thirties but what about your twenties? What does hoeing even mean and why is it that people are so concerned about other’s sexuality…

*If this post offends you, I probably don’t really care. But please feel free to share why.


3 thoughts on “Real Talk || Does age make a difference?

  1. Your body, your business. This concept of a “loose woman” was invented by men… the same men who stick their dicks in ANYTHING that has a hole. The older you get, the more you realize that as long as you are doing what you do safely (for your physical and mental health), then no one even knows you slept with someone except you and the person you did it with.

    Some women like to take it slow and that’s cool as long as it’s for her benefit (maybe she gets attached easily?) and not for what society might see her as.

    Women are guilty of upholding this ridiculous patriarchy too. Name calling is just jealousy, haha. Not every woman is sexually liberated and as such not taking full advantage of multiple orgasms (and in some cases, orgasms at all).

    So, in closing, everyone should just do their kegals, wrap it up, get tested regularly, and mind their business.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing ♥️ I don’t even want to get into men and the lack of negative association when it comes to “hoeing”.

      I find myself constantly questioning and checking myself. Is this how I really feel or what I’ve been told is “right”. There is no right way except when it’s right for you. I’m wishing sexual liberation on every woman. Wether it is a woman that doesn’t want sexual encounters or numerous. I hope we can all achieve liberation without feeling any shame or judgement.

      Love the Kegals reminder! 💪🏽

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly. It’s whatever your preference is. It’s great that you’re asking yourself how you really feel about how you’re living your life. Social conditioning can be SUCH a bitch sometimes. 💕



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