(Of Love or friendship) intimate and affectionate but not sexual.
This segment, I wanted to talk about friends of the opposite sex. Whether you’re a guy with girl friends or a girl with guy friends. I have gotten general consensus that it is possible for men and women to be friends with the opposite sex. People have their own opinions but many have generally stepped out of the 1960’s mindset and they get it. We can be friends and it does not have to lead to physical relations. But and there is a big BUT, this acceptance of platonic friendships is often floating around but not practiced.
I have a fair amount of guy friends and there is an insinuation that these men are guys I am interested in or vise versa. There is this feeling that because I am single and I am hanging out with a guy, there must be something spicy cooking up. No.
The layers are more complicated than they need to be. The simple version of this outdated perception is that when a girl has a lot of guy friends the synonym of “sex” rises up. Not every person of the opposite sex we encounter turns or will turn into a sexual experience. Friends can be just friends as long as clear boundaries are established. I have never had a boundaries talk with a guy friend, but there are things that I do and don’t do with them. I treat them like I do my brothers. We are brutally honest with each other, we talk about the world, and we are annoying AF together. It is hard for people to comprehend and grasp what may not always be understood. We can’t help what other people think. If I spent my days worrying about that, I would drive myself crazy. But, the wild thing is, it is not everyday people that have these assumptions. My friends are the ones with the wandering thoughts.
When I was like in elementary school. My neighbor Cameron and I used to hang out daily. He would knock on my door everyday like clockwork. Cameron had all the toys so naturally I went over to his house. We played legos, Pokemon Stadium, and fought with light sabers. One year for christmas Cameron got me legos, exactly what I wanted. I told my friends at school and they gave me the strangest look. “Why did he get you a present and legos, if he has a crush on you, he would have gotten you something better” First of all, legos are great and WHAT, a CRUSH?! I was so confused because Cameron and I already talked about who we liked. Cameron liked Jamie from his church and I was feeling his friend Kenny. Now, every friendship with a guy since, has been exactly like this story.
To avoid the assumptions and chaos, I have found myself pitching to people that my guy friends are indeed, just friends. Almost like I’m on a three minute trial. We’re constantly in these conversations explaining a friendship that should not have to be explained. So, why is it that we associate guys and girls spending time together meaning that there is some romantic connection? People have friends of the opposite sex, these are facts. Is there some insecurity that leads us to think that platonic friendships can’t exist?